We were hanging out at the local yesterday after work, and as the drinks piled on for them (I just had one cup of yoghurt), an interesting debate ensued- one on the rising cases of women killing their husbands or significant others in this country.
Yes, domestic violence used to be the preserve of men perpetrating it against women, but now, women are meting out this violence on their husbands and boyfriends seemingly everywhere you look with reckless abandon.
It’s alarming to say the least.
During this particular discussion, I was the only female at the table with 5 of the boys, six if you include Sammy, just trying to help each other unwind after a disastrously hard day.
The conversation started with us airing our divergent views on one of the most perplexing marital murder cases to hit our dailies in recent weeks.
A serving magistrate has been accused of murdering her lawyer husband in cold blood alongside three senior police officers.
The details of the murder are gory with the victim having been tortured by the suspects, and then fatally shot SEVEN times.
Gasp!! Who shoots someone seven times? How dead do you want someone to be for it to be necessary to shoot someone seven times?
The magistrate and her co-accused are set to undergo psychiatric assessments before the hearing of evidence against them, and sentencing.
I feel that the psychiatric assessment is justified because there has to be a level of insanity involved when you decide that someone has to be shot SEVEN bloody times.
He wasn’t attempting to run away, he’d just gone through immense torture. I doubt he was barely conscious or mobile by the time they decided to end him. One shot would have sufficed in my opinion.
One clean shot. Seven for what, Goddamit. For what? Madness!
This is such a scary story mainly because of who the prime suspect is, who the victim was, her relation to the victim, and the manner through which this victim sadly met his demise.
This is a woman, first, and secondly, she’s a woman with a seemingly powerful job. She is set.
is was a lawyer, and by all accounts, this couple was doing well for themselves.
What else could she have possibly wanted in life to push her to such a macabre act? What?
Sadly, this isn’t an isolated case. Many Kenyan women are offing their husbands nowadays, and reports of such incidences are increasing as the years go by.
The worst part about it, and the part that was making my friends very very angry yesterday evening is that most of these cases, whereby the woman is accused of killing the husband in cold blood, rarely make headline news. These ones are usually on the hush-hush.
I feel the only reason that this particular story made headlines was because she was a magistrate, he was a lawyer, and the co-accused are police officers.
Otherwise, this story would have never seen the light of day.
What shocked my friends even more was the fact that the woman in question is not a Kikuyu woman.
From here, the conversation took a sharp turn from how evil women are turning out to be nowadays, and how disenfranchised the boy child is turning out to be economically, socially, and emotionally, to how scary Kikuyu women are.
That’s right. Every time you hear a Kenyan woman has been accused of killing her husband or significant other, the woman is most probably a Kikuyu woman.
And, the killing is never self-defence. It’s usually premeditated with anger at the man, or a desire for the man’s wealth (~96% of the cases) as the main motives.
It gets worse.
Every time you hear that a man’s privates have been cut off, there’s probably an irate, non-repentant Kikuyu woman in the docks for that crime. (She’s probably from a place called Nyeri. Surprise, surprise, I hail from there as well).
And, you will never hear of these women serving jail sentences FYI. Somehow these things are swept under the rug, and not considered as serious domestic violence cases.
It gets even worse.
Every time you see a middle aged Kikuyu woman driving a Harrier, and/or is a landlady with flats especially those sides of Kikuyu (it’s a small town), there’s more likely an elderly gentleman who is six feet under, having died from mysterious causes.
Many of these women usually keep young men to satisfy their sexual needs. When I say ‘keep’, I mean that they sustain these young men financially.
I’m a Kikuyu woman, and I wish I could be, or even act appalled by this stereotyping of the women in our tribe, myself included, but the evidence is too loud to be ignored.
Everywhere you look, Kikuyu women are killing their husbands for all sorts of reasons, or beating them senseless, or taking all of their wealth, and leaving them destitute and hopeless.
Yes, Kikuyu women are to be feared.
One of the guys in the group, who is Kikuyu by the way, took it a notch further by letting us know that there was no way he would sleep with a Kikuyu woman.
It kind of hurt because he’s super cute, and unfortunately now, there’s no Kikuyu woman who will ever experience that yumminess.
All because we are known for all the wrong reasons.
We’re constantly shooting ourselves on the foot, we Kikuyu women.
If it is not our excessive love for money and material trappings, it’s our bad cooking; or our collectively poor fashion sense; or our temper that has no equal; or our inability to submit to our partners; or our lack of interest in coitus (apparently, we are known for just laying there).
….or the fact that we kill our men, or dismember them when they annoy us, or when they have become too much of a bother.
It’s not that all Kikuyu women exhibit the above traits, it’s just that many of these traits are common in so many of us that it must be a thing.
Do I exhibit any of these traits?
Let me start by saying that my cooking is phenomenal. I mean my own parents, who for your information are my harshest and biggest critics and from whom compliments are as rare as a clean Kenyan politician, think my cooking is amazing.
So do my brothers, and practically anyone I have ever cooked for in the last two years. Before that I wouldn’t be caught dead in the kitchen.
So, I’m not a bad cook. I hope that I have made that point abundantly clear.
The sex part- let’s just say that as I continue to age, I am getting more comfortable trying out new positions. But, yes, there was a time before that when all I did was just lay there.
I do, however, have a temper like seemingly the rest of the women folk in my community.
A bad one. One that can easily push me to violence in a split second.
It’s quite scary actually, especially now when you realize how many men are suffering from domestic violence abuse.
I hope I never lay a hand on my spouse (violently, that is). I hope this rotten aspect of being a Kikuyu woman from Nyeri never rears its ugly head because I never ever ever want my spouse to be part of that horrible statistic.
Am I submissive? No!
Do I have some semblance of fashion sense? Nowadays I do, actually!
Am I attracted to men because of their wealth and money? No! I am mainly attracted to people based on how cute or smart or funny or unique they are.
I was once in a relationship with someone because of how cute their nose was.
It gets worse.
I fell for my current boyfriend because he has dreadlocks! (I know, you want to hit me right now, but, I like what I like).
Furthermore, I have a ‘provider’ mindset, which means that I love providing for myself and the person I want to get nasty with.
At least on that note, the Kikuyuness didn’t rub off on me.
I love being a short Kikuyu woman. I wouldn’t change it for the world even with all the stereotypes that exist about us.
Like every other woman who has ever lived, I’m just going to have to rise above these stereotypes about women like me, and change/control some of the things about myself that would cause others around me to believe in these stereotypes simply because of my actions.
Enjoy your weekend, people 💖💖💖💖💖.