Category Archives: HEALTH

ANOTHER MONTH, ANOTHER PAINFUL LOSS

Hallo awesome people,

I’m back.

With something I would like to share. It’s a bit heavy but here goes…

A friend died by suicide on the 17th of March, and it was such a devastating loss for everyone involved.

I’ve hang out with him just a couple of times after moving back home, and each time was an absolute pleasure.

The last time we hang out, it was in his father’s car at our local grocery shop. I was sitting at the back, his favourite female in the entire world was sitting at the passenger seat, while he, obviously, was on the driver’s seat.

As we waited for the attendants to load the items that were on the list into the car, we talked, laughed, and made fun of each other, and our other mutual friends.

We didn’t have a care in the world at that point, at least that’s what it seemed like. Everyone was okay, everyone was happy.

I left the two in the car as I had a short errand to run for my mum in town.

That was the last time I saw him alive. 5th March 2019.

Before this, he had graciously accepted my invitation to our church’s Valentine’s dinner back in February.

He came, and obviously, he was the life of the party.

Here he was, trying to explain what he looked for in an ideal partner.

Before this, he had been playing with an adorable three year old princess, distracting the speakers with how much fun they were having together.

He tried his best to tone it down, but the little girl was having too much fun, and he just got sucked into it completely.

You should have heard the child giggle as they played on the grass. It was the cutest thing ever!

On the afternoon of 15th February, he, along with our two mutual friends, and Sammy, had come to help me with the preparations for the dinner that would be held that evening.

The conversations were endless, and again, everyone seemed okay. Each of us seemed happy and content just being there with one another.

And now, he is no more! He’s gone, and by his own hand, nonetheless.

It just goes to show that we never really know the extent of the darkness that lies beneath our glowing smiles and hearty laughs.

And, it’s no one’s fault.

It isn’t our fault- despite the fact that we were his friends, and could have caught a glimpse of this darkness once or twice, but couldn’t do anything more for him than just laugh with him, and make everything seem okay, albeit for just a couple of minutes.

It isn’t his family’s fault either – I know they tried to show him love and support the best way they knew how. I’m sure they went above and beyond for him, and somehow, it still wasn’t enough.

Sometimes, love is simply not enough.

You can love somebody so much, with every being in your body, but still be incapable of saving them from what is eating them from the inside.

Sometimes, love isn’t enough.

Sometimes the darkness overpowers your will to go one more day.

Sometimes the thread that holds you to your loved ones becomes too miniscule compared to the monster growing inside you.

To quiet the voices, to drown the pain, you choose to do the one thing that would crush your loved ones’ hearts.

But, at least, finally you get your peace. And, eventually, you hope, that they’ll find peace in knowing that you are finally resting.

I am in no way condoning his decision, it hurts, and I can’t possibly imagine what his family is going through.

But, every time I put myself in his shoes, or in my own mother’s shoes, I can see how the battle can become overwhelming, and no amount of talk, love, or support can stop the disease, this darkness, from taking over.

Recently, (literally two days ago), we were ranked the sixth most depressed nation in the world.

That means hundreds of thousands of us are depressed, and our suicide rates are skyrocketing especially amongst our young men.

I think the best thing we can do is to be on the lookout for the earliest signs of depression in our family members, and act upon it immediately.

We need to help people fight their demons way earlier on before the disease spreads farther, and our love, support, and listening ears can’t do much to help.

It’s like cancer – early detection is the only way we can circumvent the effects of the disease.

And, depression is a disease. A serious one, and I’m tired of people my parents’ age not understanding this point, and behaving as if all those that are depressed are a bunch of entitled brats!

Some people are born predisposed to depression.

Others fall into it because of the poisonous societal conditions we’ve managed to create over the years, and seem unwilling to change at least for the sake of our collective mental health.

Right now, I’m at peace because my friend is in peace. He was so young, but somehow the disease had progressed to a point nothing we could do or say would have changed the path he chose to find that peace.

But, I know that in order to stop such a tragedy from happening again, I need to be extra ALERT and pick up on the earliest, smallest signs of depression exhibited by the people around me.

My conversations and interactions will be more meaningful, more insightful. It’s going to be me listening more rather than talking, and allowing my loved ones to be as free as possible around me.

I hope that somehow this helps, and I hope that you too, dear reader, get to do the same for your loved ones.

Anyway,

Goodbye until the next time I have something to tell you.

Kisses 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

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JANUARY 2019- THE SAD, UGLY, AND DOWNRIGHT DEADLY II

Hi there,

It’s me, again.

Here comes part 2 of the series of sad, ugly, and deadly events that have transpired around my parents and I in January 2019.

Event 2

We had barely come to terms with my elder cousin’s deadly diagnosis, when a death occurred in our church congregation.

Just last Sunday, a week after my cousin was transported to Kenyatta National Hospital for emergency treatment, we were informed that the son to one of our fellow congregants had died suddenly in his sleep.

By all accounts, this was a healthy man in his late 30s living a healthy lifestyle, and yet here he was,….gone and never to be heard from again.

He was at the peak of his life, based on testimonies from friends and family, and now, he was no more.

The saddest part is that he died an ocean away from home (he was working and residing in Australia at the time of his death).

It’s so sad that his parents and sister never got the chance to say goodbye. Or maybe they did, but they just didn’t know that that would be their last farewell. That’s even sadder.

It’s devastating to think about the pain the family is going through right at this moment, and even as we keep on going to condole with them at their residence, the shock, for both us and them, isn’t wearing off.

We were told that he died in his sleep from a brain aneurysm. The assumption that most of my fellow congregants are making is that he died peacefully without any pain. If this is true, I hope it gives the family some form of comfort.

We are waiting for the full medical report from the coroner abroad so that we can begin the process of transporting the body back here as well as the funeral arrangements.

I have never met him, but I can tell how loved he was by the grief that we are all experiencing and the pain we are feeling on behalf of the family.

You can literally see the turmoil in their eyes. His sister has lost a dear friend, a confidant, a companion…an only sibling!

His parents have lost their first born child, their only son. An unbreakable bond that’s been dissolved before their very eyes.

The three of them were so used to having him as part of their life; his presence was guaranteed. For 39 years, he was an intrinsic part of their tight knit unit. How are they supposed to move on from this?

How?

They’ll be no getting over this for them, and even for us as a church community because three of our members will forever be hurting. When one of us is hurting, we are all hurting.

This is our pain, this is our loss.

——————————————————————

YESTERDAY, COME AGAIN by Kui

If only we could go back to yesterday,

When I could hear you speak,

When I could hold you,

If only we could go back to yesterday,

When your smile lit up my heart,

And we talked and laughed,

If only we could go back to yesterday,

When I was sure I would see you forever,

Ah, yesterday, won’t you come back again?

And if we could go back to yesterday,

I would hold you, and not let go,

And I would pray,

Pray,

That that lonely tomorrow,

That tomorrow that’s without you,

Never should I have to live through it.

Yesterday, won’t you come back again?

Rest with the angels, our dear son 💖💖💖💖💖💖

MY LIFE-CHANGING EXPERIENCE WITH GREEN TEA

Question: Is there a support group for green tea addicts?

If there is, then I need to be in it. Guys, I NEED HELP!!!!

I drink so much green tea in a day that sometimes I end up getting nauseous (this is usually when it hits me that it’s time to eat).

And, I am not trying to accomplish anything by drinking copious amounts of the beverage, I just love how it tastes, the bitter the better (too often, I catch myself wondering what exactly is wrong with me, you’re probably wondering the same thing aren’t you?)

I absolutely love green tea.

Art by Carter Kingsley

On normal days, I can take at least four large cups of green tea, much to the astonishment of those around me (mainly my mum, dad, brothers, John, cousins, farm assistants, and my friends in church – yes people, I carry green tea bags to church).

Oh, and get this, it’s always sugarless.

Hahaha, I love the look on people’s faces when they ask to taste my tea, and find that it’s sugarless. That look is… PRICELESS!!

I stopped sweetening my tea a few years ago, mainly because the scientists were and are still saying that we should reduce our consumption of sugar. I also stopped drinking soda for that exact same reason. I don’t actually know if I am healthier than the people who do consume these products, but, my body still works optimally (I believe), so I must be doing something right!

Anyway, back to green tea!

I started drinking green tea while in campus (I’d like to say 2nd year) because my research (extensively done by the way) had shown that it could help make my hair grow longer. It and neem (mwarubaini).

Side note: I have always been obsessed with long hair, ever since I was a young girl. I would pray every night for my hair to grow longer and for me to grow taller.

Why? Because I thought I would be prettier if I had longer hair and if I were taller (absurd, I know).

Suffice to say the height bit never quite worked out. I’m like 5.2″ now, so yeah, those prayers were never answered 😤😤😤.

Okay, now seriously, back to green tea.

Neem was way too bitter even for me, so I decided to go with the green tea, and boy oh boy, did I find a lifetime obsession.

I drank green tea religiously in one semester, and my hair actually grew! It grew! I was so estatic! And it was during the time I was transitioning from permed hair to natural. It looked wonderful!

So, yeah, it helped my hair grow back then. Just a little but it was noticeably thicker and longer.

Another awesome thing happened when I drank green tea that semester. I was a heavy smoker back then and green tea somehow helped quell the urges.

I was gobsmacked! Longer hair, less smoking, my life was seemingly on the right track.

You would expect that I would continue taking this miraculous beverage because of its visible benefits.

Nope! Not this girl! I honestly don’t even know why I stopped taking it, and my addictions continued to spiral out of control. My hair did not fare so well either.

But, I was young, dumb, and reckless back then, so it’s understandable. Not much has changed though, so no need to get your hopes up 🙃🙃🙃😏😏😏.

I cleared campus in 2014, and had spent the whole of 2015 in Meru so that I could get to know my biological father better. Or was it so that I could drink myself to death unencumbered?

I’m thinking it was both.

There was hardly any green tea consumption during this time, just a lot of booze, even more than in campus. By the way, my drinking escapades here were LEGENDARY…. they were crazy, but still the stuff of legends.

But, in 2016, when I moved back to Nairobi, I took up green tea again, and I swear weird things started to happen.

No, I didn’t and haven’t grown taller, if that’s what you were thinking (insert eye roll).

But, my hair, OH MY GOODNESS!! Let’s just say that my dreams have come true in terms of hair. I have luscious dreadlocks that are so long, and my mother (and nearly everyone I meet) is in constant awe (over my hair- not my height).

(I would show you a picture but Wahu didn’t raise a braggart 😋😋).

Other than the green tea, I think that having a great loctician has also played a seriously huge role in how healthy my hair is.

Another weird thing- I don’t smoke anymore. I have been cigarette free for close to two years now, which, to me, has been an amazing feat.

I quit smoking gradually, and naturally, and at first, I didn’t even notice that I wasn’t smoking anymore. The urges just dissipated by themselves without any intervention, medical or otherwise.

I can’t even believe that I used to smoke, let alone the fact that I had been addicted to cigarette smoking for years! It’s like that entire phase of my life has been erased. I honestly can’t even remember the taste or even the brands. It’s literally like I have never smoked a cigarette in my life!

I don’t know if there are chemicals in the green tea that can actually control your urges or if I just swapped one unhealthy addiction (cigarettes) for another healthier one (green tea), but whatever the case, I am so proud of myself for quitting this disastrous behaviour.

And then, there was the alcohol. This one was a bit harder to break, and took a longer time to overcome, but I can honestly and proudly claim that I no longer drink. Not a sip! Not even wine! And this is coming from a girl who used to be drunk from Monday to Monday less than two years ago.

Of course, leaving these time consuming habits has enabled me to focus on other areas of my life, especially my writing. I have been able to build a stable freelance writing career from scratch in the last two years, and even here, green tea has been extremely instrumental.

My ability to focus improves dramatically when I am sipping cups of my favourite tea while writing as opposed to when I am writing without consuming the tea.

Again, I don’t know why this happens, but it is an observation I have made countless of times.

Lastly, I have a strong conviction that green tea has altered my metabolism, and my ability to lose and gain weight.

Before I started taking green tea regularly, I was a very poor eater. The poorest eater of all poor eaters, and as a result, I was a very tiny girl. I just didn’t like eating, I found it boring and time consuming.

Nowadays, things have changed drastically!

I’m still petite, that’s for sure, but I am not as thin as I used to be. Why? I eat like a crazy person nowadays, because of my high metabolism thanks to all of the green tea I drink daily. I eat, drink green tea, and within a few hours, I need something else to bite.

Funny thing, my weight has not changed much even with my ever-growing appetite. I’m still 48 kgs, despite all of the food I eat. I know it seems small for a girl so close to 30 years, but I am actually very healthy and strong. I think I was just born to be small, and there is very little I can do about that.

So, that’s it;- my journey with green tea, and the changes I have noticed ever since I started consuming it.

I’m not saying that green tea is a miracle cure for everything under the sun, but, I am sure glad that I drink it!!

If you have a green tea story, feel free to share it with me in the comments.

❤️❤️❤️……